Strive! (2023)

Instrumentation: Two Piano

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Duration: 6 minutes

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Program Note: 

The motivation behind writing Strive! is anxiety. Being a composer means that one’s lifestyle is rarely stable and ordinary. In the lives of composers, we don’t work 9 to 6. Overtime is normal, and the deadline is always chasing us. Sometimes, we have to live precarious lives as freelancers or students. We can’t stop studying because there is endless music available for lifelong learning. However, most importantly, we aim to compose perfect music (at least I am), which is unachievable. The primary problem is that this scarcity mindset increases anxiety rather than creativity. So, here are my recent sources of stress from internal and external demands.

To capture the unease, I adapted a twelve-tone row to generate fundamental pitches, like raw materials and used the row’s fragments rather than applying serial operations. Although the harmonic language is dissonant, the rhythmic ideas and musical structure are firmly rooted in the traditional style—the form is a sonata, and the development section is a four-part fugue.

The anxiety never completely resolved within the piece, just like a composer’s destiny to deal with endless anxiety, stress, a creative block, etc. until one stops writing. All these thoughts led me to write Strive! Therefore, I am embracing anxiety as a part of myself and continue striving for perfection. Whether I will achieve or not is unimportant. The progression is what matters.

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Premiere: Benjamin Havey and Jihyun Oh | April 4 2024 | UMKC White Hall, Kansas City, MO |